Before these artists had scored even a modest regional hit, they already had their multimedia plan for global domination perfected. In that respect, these movies were merely a means to an end, an extension of a brand rather than genuine creative expression. They were a hustle, plain and simple, cynically executed for the purpose of a cheap buck. But there was also a strange glory to the shamelessness of these dodgy bottom-feeders. The life-affirming spirit of the proud carny, prince among men, runs throughout the rapsploitation genre.
At their most incompetent, these films fall so far from accepted standards of quality in terms of acting, writing, and craftsmanship that they almost qualify as outsider art. They are the work of headstrong men and I do mean men, as rapsploitation is a Super He-Man Woman Hater Club of a genre unwilling to let a complete inability to act, write, direct, or handle the technical aspects of filmmaking keep them from making what can generously, even inaccurately, be deemed movies.
During their heyday, these rapsploitation movies sometimes employed strategies even William Castle and Roger Corman would find tacky and cheap. A prime example of this would be the Albert Pyun-directed cheapie The Wrecking Crew, one of three similar movies Pyun shot in Europe back-to-back with nearly identical crews and casts to save money. But just as I decided to revisit the Tarantino knockoffs that dominated the early years of my career here at The A.
How High was about a pair of cool hip-hop dudes Method Man and Redman who smoke some special shit and become geniuses. There are other key differences as well. Stoner rappers and the makers of stoner comedies like to claim that their art stands on its own merits, that while being high can only improve the experience of watching their movies or listening to their music, it is not necessary. So go figure that out, then put your goddamn ganja goggles on, and get ready for liftoff! At this point I was torn.
The flight-or-fight instinct kicked in. Who was I to flagrantly disobey a talking marijuana cigarette voiced by a convicted rapist? He gave me an out! He was not being self-deprecating so much as brutally, brutally honest. My name is Slow Burn, and I am your movie guide. But before we get started with the picture, I would like to make sure everyone is comfortable and properly prepared. We all know the regular routine. Go the bathroom, turn off your annoying-ass cell phone, get a big ass popcorn, and a cup of ice-cold carbonated sugar water-- Baaah.
You missin' one key ingredient, nigga. How you gonna watch a motherfuckin' weed movie without no motherfuckin' weed? Get your papers, your bongs, your bowls, your blunts, some fat- ass nugs of that Good-Good and spark that shit up! Now, if you unfortunate right now, and don't have any weed, I'm sorry. But please, stop this movie right now. It just won't work, you can't watch this shit without no weed.
You don't play baseball without no bat, do you? For the same reason you don't watch a Three-D movie without Three-D glasses. So go figure that out, then put your goddam ganja goggles on, and get ready for lift-off. Thank you, kindly. And without further ado, I would like to present, "Mac Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! For all of you that like to play those movie weed games, like smoke every time so and so character says this or does that, here's the official weed game for this movie.
Take a hit every time you see a character on screen either walkin', talkin', or breathin'. Matter of fact, let's do one together right now. That's what the fuck I'm talkin' about. W- what you waitin' on, man? Start the movie. Where the weed at, man? Hey, Mac, let me get some weed, bro. Can I get some weed, man? They just don't go harder than us. This one's for the g's all black chucks on the cuffs of my jeans King size papers stuffed full of trees, I be with the boss dawg y'all fuck niggas, please Now they say I'm hot, hundred something degrees, taking pictures with a young nigga, cheese Remember days, homey, I ain't had a thing Now I'm hopping off the plane, putting roaches on the wing And my hos like queens, but we smoke like kings Jewelry froze like bling, money come fast, you're slow like lean Rolling up grass I need the Mac, man.
Hook it up, man. What's up, Mac? I wanna get my higher learnin' on, bro. Gotta be like good, good, don't you know. Stress be make a nigga head hurt. For real. We smoke the best you can buy Them niggas talking it but they just don't go harder than us Keep stunting just cause I can These hos know just who I am Them niggas talking it but they just don't go harder than us We blow to the middle of the day Wiz say, Dogg, put a little in the J Hey, why not? Not why? We fly, we ride, she high, he high Mac, I Never mind.
Thank you for your time. He just smoke all day, it's a mind game Like Kareem, I seem to keep migraines Richie Valenz and bitch, I'm Frankie Lymon I'm so lifted, like a parachuter My grass, stay off, day off, Ferris Bueller Slip away, dip away, almost had to throw a whole zip away But fuck that, this the Taylor Gang, what you want, dawg, shit I'm on everything You dig? Looky, player, you got what I need, I'm lookin' for the green. I'm looking for the weed, give it to the fiend. But they just don't go harder than us. Keep stunting just cause I can These hos know just who I am Them niggas talking I need to get high, man.
You know what I'm saying? Put some kush up in it. All I got is pesos. Is that cool? You niggas never have, never will, what?
Big Snoop and Wiz smoking, kill, kill I said, you niggas never have, and you never will You niggas never have, and you never will You niggas never have, and you never will Big Snoop and Young Wiz smokin' kill, kill, kill I got just what you need. I know you do. Take two of these. Here you go, sweetie. All right, baby. We smoke the best you can buy I need that homework done in Calculus tonight, you feel me? Yes, Mac. I'll do this. Hey, Big Mac, how you doin'? A la mnage a trois? What's up, bro? You comin' to the game tonight? You better score two touchdowns tonight, boy.
Wes, Wes. Let's smoke something, Mac. I got you, brother, don't even trip. We smoke the best you can buy [ bell rings ] Yo! Watch where the fuck you're walking, stupid bitch! These hos know just who I am Ah! Be patient, baby. All I need you to do, I need you to climb up there, come on. Dang, girl.
Get it together. Come close to the wall. Oh, my god. See, I got like messed up, you kids. I'm old school! That means I don't play that shit. Whatever, man. Man, turn back, turn- turn around. That's the reason why I called the Assistant Principal, Mr. Skinnfloot, 'cause I know he'll give every one of you a pass. Man, we didn't do shit. Turn back arou- You wanna lose your strength?
Mac & Devin Go to High School (2012) Movie Script
What's up, Mr. You see I done handled this. Look how- look how I got 'em lookin'. That fool, Skinnfloot, jacked me for that master kush, it's got to be in here somewhere. Sit back. Let me find it. Where did this fucker put my thing at? Wait a minute. That don't smell like no Come here. This is the last time you Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow. Just go aaah There you go. Stop listening to that filth! Yo, that dude is crazy. No, he ain't. Skinny Dick, you wanna hit? Mac, the word around this high school is that you have the finest kush in all the land. Hook me up, Mac, I know you got it. I am prepared to pay you in chain mail, a quiver of arrows, three broad swords, and two oxen. I got a couple fat bitches and one midget in the car. You could fuck any one you want. You know what I'm sayin'? Just let me just hold that ounce or two to you know, just Friday. Hey, Mac. Andrews, third period English.
These crazy kids gave me a migraine. You think you could hook me up with a joint to relieve the pain? Salmon Sandbar? You gonna be there all day, man? Yeah, probably. High school. It's the best of times, it's the worst of times. It's the times that try men's soul. Ask not what high school- Wow, shit. Ask not what high school can do for you, but what you can do- It's the best of times, it's the worst of times.
It's time for me to write a new speech. What the fuck, man. And that was horrible. Yo, your speech sucks. Hey, how's the speech coming, Devin? Um, I'm almost done with it, but it'll be good. Well, it better be. You want to stay together after graduation, right? Of course I do, Ashley. Then you need to go to Yale. And to go to Yale, you need a scholarship. And my dad made a call to the guy that he knows, but-- Well, I'm- I'm just really having a hard time figuring out the best part of my high school experience.
Well, duh, that would be me. Yeah, well, I know that. Just think how amazing it'll be when we're engaged and we have matching diplomas on the wall. It'll be so fabulous, I won't be able to stand it. But no pressure though, babe. Just don't fuck up, or I'll dump you.
Custom Satire in Mac and Devin Go to High School Essay
Just kidding! Sort of. Call me later? Do you know what that is? It's the controlling bitch alert. Attention, gentlemen, please ask the ladies to give us a brief moment. We will only be a second, bitches. Thank you. Come on, now. Come on, playa.
Grading Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg’s Mac & Devin Go to High School
That- that go for your girl, too. I- Look at your girl sittin' right there. Come on, man. Fuck, niggas, fuck. Okay, they gone? Now look, this is some serious shit, man. Devin is in some deep doo-doo.
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There's a huge population of controlling bitches on this earth and they keep expanding. And you know what? It's our motherfuckin' fault! If you a nigga like that, and you got a bitch like that, get the fuck out now! Either get 'em in line, or kick 'em to the motherfuckin' curb.
Mac and Devin Go to High-School by Josh Piteo on Prezi
Amen, hallelujah. All right, yeah. Ladies, y'all can come on back now. An order for some medium-sized condoms? These are your expulsion papers. Expulsion for what? Oh, well let's see. Breaking and entering, possession of a narcotic. Fool, last I checked, this shit was legal in California. You're done, Mister. Your fifteen-year tenure at this school is over. Assistant Principal Skinnfloot?
Do we have a problem with this student? Not anymore. Because you do know that all expulsions are handled by me, personally. Yes, but this student always seems to get off with you. Does he? Uh, do you mind giving us a few minutes? But this is my office. Yeah, do you want it to remain your office? Yes, Principal Cummings. Oh, Mr. What have you done this time? You are such the naughty, naughty little student. What am I gonna do with you? You always make me have to punish you so severely. Always getting me riled up! Well, you just meet me in my office after school today and we're gonna take care of that little bit of unfinished business, okay?
I'm sorry, do you work here? Uh, actually, this is my place of business. Can I help you? I know a thing or two about chemistry. Excuse me? What is it that you do here? I'm Mr. Johnson, the Athletic Director. Hopefully I'll see you around the campus later on today. It's past fourth period, Poindexter. I promise you I'm going to get it. Right there. Let's go. What are you doing? Hit that. Let me get that, let me get that. Yes, Sir. That's some- that's some powerful stuff right there.
I like- I like that right there. Improper use of lab glassware is a hazard, you know? Did you know that motherfuckin' outfit you got on is a style hazard? What are you doing here, anyway? You're not smart enough to be in this class. And how you know? Class, I'm Ms. Huck, your new substitute teacher for the rest of the semester. What happened to Mr. Luznar met with a rather tragic chemical accident. I've spoken with your teacher and he wants you all to present a research project for your final grade.
Partners are as follows. Harding and Pell. Suzuki and Ofaso. Jones and Greenberg. And Overstreet and Johnson. W- with all due respect, this pairing could jeopardize my entire future! Well, Miss Huck, I've been looking forward to meeting you. I'm the Assistant Principal, Ralph Skinnfloot. Nice to meet you, Mr. If you need anything at all, please, don't hesitate to ask. And if you have any problems with this one, just let me know. By the way, I'd love to welcome you with my staff. I- I mean, to the staff. Over dinner. I don't think that's appropriate. So, a maybe?
Very encouraging. Hey, Mac! It's down to two. Two geniuses banging brains. Only one can stand and come. What are you talking about, Mahatma? That's Mahatma Chang Greenberg to you. Learn it. Oh, really? Yeah, well I'm taking like seven AP classes. You get an A-minus and your ass is mine.
You hear me? What do you want with my ass, Mahatma? My brain is gonna do all types of things to your ass come graduation day. Fuckin' nerd. You know I got you, Mac. I always do. Fo sho. What's up? Man, we need to study tonight.
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Get at me at nine o'clock on the corner of "Why Dontcha" and "BlowMe"? Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you say, you, me, and little buddy right here make three? I'm sorry, I don't date students. Well, I guess I'll just have to drop out. I don't date liars either, Mr. Athletic Director. Let me apologize for that. How can I make it up to you? Can I take you out on a date? You want a date with me? You need to graduate high school first.
And I'll be confiscating this in the meantime. Good goobly goo. Let the learning begin. You can't smoke in here, young man. Hey, don't worry about it, baby, I got a medical condition. What condition is that? I got an addiction.
I'm addicted to Granny Punany. What are you doing here? Man, you was right, D-Street. That graduation thing is important. Guess you finally came to your senses. Just hook me up the knowledge, College. Oh, yeah? Start here. Dang it.
Gimme my candy, motherfucker. What's up, super freak? I'm sorry, man. I just get low on blood sugar and Come on! I got just want you need. You ain't gonna eat that? We can go half and half. A toast to expanding minds. Yo, thanks man. I needed that. More than you'll ever know. A quick lesson on weed edibles. Snacks made with cannabis, i. This is extremely different than smoking weed. It's way more intense and can take over your mind and trip you the fuck out!
You don't believe me? Ask your friends. Right now. Ask 'em. A Have you ever eaten weed edibles? And B Did those edibles make you feel like two cartoon mermaids was using their sexy little tail to play ping pong with your brain? That's what I thought. Shit 'bout to get wavy, baby. You're feeling it, huh?
Feeling what? The Green Goddess. Ganja Goodies. Cush Cakes. Herb Hors d'oeuvres. Kind Kookies. Does that mean I'm I'm high? As a kite. Here we go. Watch where you're going. Yo, Mac. It's like I got this track playin' in my head. It's like perfectly synchronized to my moves and everything. My heartbeat. You hear it? You cool, new school? Well, hook me up with that dope shit you got goin' on. Which one? The one in my head? Yeah nigga. You heard that? Man, that shit dope as a motherfucker. But what happened to the singing now?
Wait, what singing? I ain't hear any singing. I can't sing. D, ain't nobody here but me. You gotta let that feeling feel good. Matter of fact, let that shit out. Man, let me hear it, man. Man, come on. Every time I go out I'm blowin' that smoke out A buyer don't even know the price I talk cause I live it Come pay me a visit And I'll be somewhere up in the sky My nigga, it's about to go down Oh, we fly, it's no lie that we high 'til we die We end up in this Roll one up, clean the ride, in case some hos want to jump inside Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Nigga, that shit right there, go hard. Snoop Dogg was made for kissin' A barracuda fish and she on a mission for me Pleasure, pain, and glory, and my inventory My SAT's, my little bitch, she did 'em for me And now we prancin' onstage at the talent show We flow, see my clothes, my chain, and knapsack full of that, hand me that, can you see my telescope Principal, say she wanna see me 'cause she smell my smoke About my money, trippin' Even if I thought it wrong Blowin' songs with Wiz 'cause this is the booty call Every time I go out I'm blowin' that smoke out A buyer don't even know the price I talk as I live it Come pay me a visit And I'll be somewhere up in the sky My nigga, it's about to go down Oh, we fly, it's no lie that we high 'til we die I'll beat it up in this hotel Roll one up, clean the ride, in case some hos want to jump inside Yeah.
It's the archbishop, Don "Magic" Juan Man, I am hungry. Let's get it. How you doin', sexy? Good, mamacita. Just showing my brother from another mother the way of the weed. All right. So what'll it be? It'll be the usual. Let me get uh, two Scooby Snacks with special sauce on it. Comin' right up. Oh, yeah, baby. Yo, I really needed this, man. Every motherfucker needs this.
The Valley Dictorian, right? And everybody expects me to talk about the good times I had in high school-- But you ain't had no good times. Here you go. Thank you, baby. Two Scooby Snacks. So you do this all the time? Every minute of the motherfuckin' day. So you don't worry about the future? No, D. I vast in the moment. Man, I wish I could do that. You can, homey. All you got to do, is do what I do. Say what I say. You know, like so what? So what we get drunk?
So what we smoke weed? So what we get high? We don't care who see. You got to live young, you got to live wild, you got to live free. You got to do you like I do me. You dig? How the fuck did we get here? We flew, nigga. You ready to get some ink? Aw, I don't know, Mac. You said you wanted to experience some shit, right? But what if it hurts? You might like that. Man, this spot is crazy. Now this is where the shit goes down. You got your sativa, you got your indica, and you got your hybrids over there. You have know idea what the fuck I'm talking about, huh?
Don't trip. I got exactly what you need. Hey, ladies and gentlemen. I am your friendly neighborhood weed plant, Captain Kush. That's right. And on today's Volume One of the Captain Kushhopedia, we will be discussing two different strains of marijuana. Cannabis Indica and Cannabis Sativa. Keep it locked. Press pause and I'm whoopin' your ass. Ah, shit, what time is it? Shit, I don't know. I forgot my books at school. I usually start my late night study session right about now. I usually start my late night bong session right now.
Pull that out, hit that shit. A very popular strain of the indica plant is known as kush, from the Hindu Kush Mountains of Afghanistan and Pakistan. Otherwise known as the shit that got Bin Laden caught. Him and his boys was in the mountains, and they was shootin' their guns, bustin' 'em off, came up on some of that sweet kush plant. Smoked it, didn't know where the fuck he was, had a Navy Seal bullet in his head two hours later. All right? You smoke it, but don't get shot.
Light that end right there. Now take the top off. Oh, damn, boy. Damn, boy. Yeah, that's right. It's more of a cerebral high. It's less sedating, but a good recommendation if you want to feel medicated throughout the day. Smoke all motherfuckin' day. It's safe. Four, three, two, one. Shoot it. Then you put 'em both together and you make purple kush. Purple kush, together. Yeah, there you go. As you can see, the Cannabis Indica is characterized by short, blocky leaves. Kinda like a Mike Tyson build.
Whereas the Cannabis Sativa is more long and narrow like Tommy Hearns. Yeah, man. We must take one big pull from the check Now I use boxing analogies One more time. In Volume Two of the Kushopedia, we will be discussing how to properly cultivate your green room by supplying your plants with all of the right nutrients. Mm, mm, mm. Get high, motherfucker.
I can't go to sleep yet, I got this new James Bond shit right here, right? All you gotta do is just inhale. Hit that shit. Don't do nothin' but inhale. Hit it. Straight THC. Can you dig that? Weed vaporization is the alternative to smoking that involves the production of irritating, toxic, and carcinogenic byproducts by heating the ganja so its active compounds boil off into a vapor.
Boil off into a vapor? Man, who the fuck wrote this shit? Fuck all that. Look, check it out. There's only two ways to smoke this shit. The right way, and the wrong way. And the right way is like they say it in the Bible. Roll that shit, light that shit, smoke that shit. They ain't say nothin' about plug it up in the Bible and all, vaporize, and make it disappear. Two more hits from the bong. Top this shit off. Hey, D-Street! You want some weed? There are niggas tryin' to stop me from smokin' this weed.
I smoke it everywhere. All day, everyday. All herb.. I'm gonna go to Yale. Smokin' all the weed. What's up, baby girl? I'm just lookin' over this homework I really need some help You want to study with me? That'd be nice.